Zenophiles for James

James (by Flint)

If you are reading this, you have taken an interest in this James person.  Hard to believe but commendable.  You have come to the correct place for discovery.

Candidate’s Statement (A Polyhistorical Analysis)

I’m not like other boys.  I’m guaranteed against defects in materials and workmanship.  It’s a lifetime guarantee.

I cycle.  I play soccer.  I walk incessantly.  I write.  I paint.  I photograph.  I build things out of wood.  I play guitar.  I have a piano and a bunch of random percussion instruments.

I have a small recording studio.  Pocket-sized.

I worked in a sheet metal plant.  I worked as a bicycle messenger.  I have been in and out of college far too long yet not quite long enough.  I did manage to take two Bachelor’s degrees—one in The History and Philosophy of Science (with a minor in Architecture) and a second degree in Philosophy.  Graduated with distinction (honors) in both degree programs, and my honors thesis compared comic book superheroes to Nietzsche’s Übermensch.

I have not traveled anywhere near as much as I’d like, but I’ve been to New York, Boston, New Orleans, and all over the West coast.  I visited Las Vegas finally as an adult and was mostly unimpressed.  The furthest I have traveled is Australia.  I spent a month in Valencia, Spain and there did eat paella.  I also spent a month in the South of France, and there did eat everything.  I want to go everywhere all the time.

I love to eat and to cook, but I’m not ever going to be a fat man.

I stole a car when I was in high school and—for the most part—got away with it.  Took it for a joy ride (without yet having a driver’s license), mangled it a bit, and returned it still running (though a little rougher for the wear with some broken windows, scratched paint, dents, &c).

I have never really hurt anyone (except the mis-hap with a broken heart here or there).  Excluding of course my brother who I tormented mercilessly in my youth.  Sorry, dear brother.  It won’t happen again.

I have more cameras than I care to count.  I own a couple of SLR’s and a dSLR.  I also own a Kodak Eastman 120mm billows camera from circa 1910; it still works and I can still get film for it.  I am not bothered by the movement from film to digital, hordes of bad photography not withstanding.  I also own at least three point-and-shoot digitals and phones with cameras.  I have been shooting photography since my dad taught me how to use his 35mm SLR when I was maybe five years old.

I love to watch movies.   I show movies in my back yard.  I watch all sorts of movies:  good movies, bad movies, art films, you name it.  If a film maker puts everything into a film it’s good no matter how bad it is, but I get really pissed when I’m watching a film where more money was spent than time and the experience becomes akin to fondling a turd: you’re not sure at first what you have but when you recognize it the fury is untetherable.

I also put on live music shows in my backyard.  I call this venue Peavine Alley.  It’s a great time for everyone.  It’s a bbq, potluck, picnic in the grass, rock and roll good time.

I have never caught a fish.  Not that this has been a lifelong dream, but I have made a fair showing in a vaguely interested sort of way.  Many crabs and shrimp and mussels and clams though.

I find procrastination a horrible infectious disease and yearn daily for the cure.  Probably find it tomorrow.

I used to program in Perl and Javascript and HTML (who didn’t?).  I script in bash and Python.  I dabble in C++.  I worked for Amazon.com when it was still cool  (get in line) where I met some really great people.  Turns out I have accidentally worked at four of the five top places to work in Seattle.  Cool I guess.

I worked in a pizza place, ate pizza every day, and never got tired of pizza.  That is to say, I love pizza and love does not fade.

I have a wine cellar—a couple racks and shelves in an unfinished basement—with some great wines.  It shares the space with my servers.  They enjoy similar environments.

My favorite liqueur is Eau de Vie de Poir.  So good it’s not worth going into here.  Look it up.  My next favorite liqueur is Booker’s (single batch bourbon).  It goes really well with Tillamook’s Mudslide.  I’ve made limoncello a few times.  I’d really like to make Eau de Vie.

I used to have a cat, then another cat, then some fish, but now all I have is a bunch of neglected plants and finally another cat.  I raise a great cat.

On principle, I avoid Microsoft and AOL and Apple whenever possible (AOwho?).

I study and speak—in descending order of useful ability—English, French, Italian, and Spanish.

I have thousands of CD’s but have managed to relegate them to crates in storage through the glorious magic of FLAC.

I have a gaggle of computers and all the crap that goes with them.  I own two domains and I run this site.  So, yes; around here it’s all my fault.

I run a program I call Linux for Anybody where I take donated computers, build them with Ubuntu, and give them to folks who may not otherwise be able to afford a computer.

I have done audio/video installations (home theaters and such).  As a result, I have seen some wicked-cool home theaters.

I have broken four bones in my life—right hand twice, left foot, and one of my collar bones (as a child I fell backwards down a flight of stairs while playing my new tambourine)—and more recently I cut the tip off my finger while julienning bell peppers.  (It required a trip to the hospital but you can hardly tell now.)  Once while running in the dark I ran over a reel of barbed wire and gashed the soft part of my foot open on rusty metal.  Can’t find any scars from that though.  More recently I stepped on the tines of a garden rake, and that has left a nice lump of a scar on the bottom of my foot.

I eat plenty of fruits and vegetables when they are available.  I used to go walking with me mum in Eastern Washington picking and eating wild asparagus.

I keep my fingernails trimmed and cleaned in case of who-knows-what, but I don’t clean my bath often enough.

I have no inhibitions, and you’d better not come between me and my chocolate.

Wind me up and watch me wiggle.

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